Saturday, December 1, 2012

1997 - The Barney Letter - Morgan's strategy for Romantic Bliss - or to avoid having to work for a living

Oh Happy, Happy Day!
March 28, 1997

Mr. Barney the Purple
With Eugene, For Always
Dearest Mr. Eugene,

I am so excited to know that I will be living with you. The past few months have been very upsetting for a creature such as myself. I have been thrust into the company of persons of stuffing who dreadfully abused me, pulling on my ears and jumping up and down on my very fragile self. Very sensitive persons of stuffing, such as myself, are intended to bring joy into the lives of persons of hugs such as yourself. Morgan told me that you are the very, very huggiest of persons, and this brings great gladness to my sorely troubled and lonely heart.
Thank you forever and ever for adopting me and making me one of your family. I will try to always be there when you need a friend to listen and someone to hug. I will hug back the most hard that I can.
I am bringing my gun with me because Morgan told me that you are a supporter of the 2nd Amendment and so am I. I am glad that America has courageous people such as your dedicated self, to defend her. I am proud to be able to bring some small happiness into your life. Thank you, for all that you are doing.
Looking forward to many years of happy mornings and glad greetings when you come home. I will always wait patiently for you and try to be as fluffy and warm as I can possibly be.
Your friend, now and forever,


P.S. I hope you like my very special stationary. I made it just for you. Morgan said we will have very special fun together. Morgan is nice, isn’t she?

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