Dawn
Pillsbury’s Declaration
I,
Dawn Pillsbury do hereby declare and affirm that the following is my
true declaration of the events pertaining to the divorce of Allen
Craig Franklin and Melinda Pillsbury-Foster, to the best of my
recollection as of March 16, 1998.
My
first clear memory of Craig is sitting in the station wagon in the
parking lot of the Vons shopping center near the house in Reseda. He
and my mother were explaining to us that their relationship and thus
his relationship to us was going to be different from now on. This
must have been before 1985.
I
remember when Craig bought Mom and the station wagon from Ron for
$3,000. We were all going to go out to dinner together. When we
joined Ron and Craig they were shaking hands and laughing, telling us
that Mom was now Craig’s. Ron said the deal was mostly for the
car, but he was throwing Mom in as part of the deal.
I
never liked Craig. He always seemed slow-witted to me, and when I
was in my early adolescence, I took a perverse pleasure in insulting
him. Once I insulted him so badly, this was when we were driving
home, that he tried to get out of the car to walk home. This was
when we were living on the house on Burnet. My insulting him led to
the first incident when he struck me. This took place in the hall
next to the front door of the house on Burnet. I had insulted him
then he seized me by the shoulders and thrust me against the wall. I
kneed him in the groin, then he threw me on the ground, his face only
inches from mine, and hissed at me never to knee him in the groin
again.
It
was not long after this that I witnessed him batter my mother into
unconsciousness. Craig had called the children, Ayn, Ed, Justin,
Morgan, Scott and myself into the back room to discuss the family
relationship. He was trying to persuade us as to something about
Melinda when she walked in and sat down on the futon next to the
door. He told her to leave and she insisted on remaining. He became
angry and began to strike her. Scott ran to call the police, Ayn
started to hit him on the shoulders with the pole of a barbell that
Morgan kept in the room for exercise and I grabbed a bottle off the
bar, intending to smash him over the head then stab him.
Unfortunately, it was a plastic bottle, and in any case, Ayn was in
the way. Craig hardly seemed to notice her, so intent he was on
hitting Melinda. When the police arrived, Melinda was in bed in her
room. They handcuffed Craig and put him in the patrol car. I was in
the room with Melinda when the officers came in to ask if she wanted
to press charges. When she said she didn’t, the officers and I
argued with her, but she said we couldn’t afford the bail and that
he needed to work. The officers let him go.
I
was aware of Melinda and Craig’s sexual relationship from the
start. I remember Ayn and I daring each other to look through an
unfinished part of the bedroom wall into the master bedroom on the
house on Chimineas to see them having sex. Later on Burnet, we had
two running jokes about their sex life. One was that we should call
National Geographic, as the humpbacked whales were mating, and the
other was that if I was angry at Craig, my best revenge was to give
Mom No-Doz, as we were all aware of his tendency to have sex with her
while she was asleep.
Polygamous
relationships have always seemed natural to me, as Mom had Ron and
Craig as husbands. I was fifteen years old before I found out that
people generally only married one person at a time. Mom and Ron had
always told us that marriage and divorce papers didn’t mean
anything since they came from the state.
My
relationship with Craig grew less adversarial over the years. Mom
stopped telling me when he beat her and he never beat her in front of
me again. I had one more assault incident with Craig. It occurred
when we arrived back at LAX from our trip to the Midwest in 1990. We
split up: Morgan, Ayn and I went to baggage claim to get our bags and
Mom and Craig went with the boys to get the car. Those who were
going to the car would take the carry-on bags so those of us going to
baggage claim could get all our luggage in one trip. As we were
splitting up, Craig tried to hand me Justin’s carry-on. I refused
to take it and walked away across the concourse to the door to
baggage claim. As I walked, I heard someone say, “Look out.” I
turned around to see Craig with his head lowered, charging directly
at me. I dropped the bag I was carrying and put one hand out to stop
him from hitting me. My outstretched hand had just barely touched
him when he fell over backwards and landed sprawled on the floor. I
picked up my bag, turned around and walked to baggage claim. He
never mentioned it and never tried to hit me again until the incident
of January 25, 1998 when he pushed past me to get into the house.
After
I started college and, as far as I knew, he had not hit Mom for a
long time, our relationship warmed up. He started referring to me as
the child most like him and I stopped insulting him so much. Of
course, I never saw him much. He would come home from work and go
upstairs to lay down and watch television, coming downstairs only to
eat or play his guitar at us. I helped him carry that huge
television upstairs when they bought it. His expenditures worried
me, as I often went grocery shopping with Melinda and saw her worry
over what brand of rice was more expensive. I saw her trapped
between his conceptions of what their life should be like, based on
his income, and the lifestyle we could afford, based on what he
actually gave to Mom. He spoke constantly about how much Mom spent
and how he had to work himself to the bone to keep up with her. I
never knew what to think of this, as I had seen how careful she was
with money, but she never disagreed with him. At least not in front
of me.
Once
I remember being out with her at the Paseo Nuevo shopping center, at
a department store getting some clothes for her, in the summer of
1994. She offered to buy me some clothes, but I said I didn’t want
to be a greater expense than I had to be. She replied that she had
to spend the money before Craig did. I asked her what he spent it
on. I remember the look of desperation on her face as she said, “I
don’t know.” This was the first indication I had that we were in
financial trouble.
When
the tax situation came to a head, Mom would tell me about her
progress in straightening the mess out. When I was home for a
weekend last spring, at dinner, Melinda spoke about the arrangement.
She said that she would be in charge of the money so Craig wouldn’t
have to worry about it and that she would get to keep any money she
could get back from the government. Craig nodded.
Craig
always made a big deal of being willing to support us children
through whatever education we could manage. He promised to pay for
our tuition and other expenses no matter how high we wanted to aim
scholastically.
Craig’s
conduct with Justin bothered me. They used to play chess together
(at least until Justin began to beat him regularly), and Craig would
play in the nude. I did not think this was appropriate. Craig’s
personal hygiene was also a problem. At one point, Ayn noticed brown
lines down the middle of the green pillows on the chairs in the
breakfast nook. She asked me what they were from. I did not know,
so I asked Melinda. She told us that Craig had become so heavy that
it was difficult for him to wipe himself after defecating, so he did
not bother. He also habitually wore a short robe that did not
adequately cover his bottom, thus the brown streaks. Ayn and I
quickly removed the cushions and disposed of them. Craig also
refused to wash his dishes, or even to put them in the dishwasher.
When I confronted him about this, he said that is should be someone’s
chore and that he worked, so he shouldn’t have to do it.
About
Mom’s writing, when it started to become clear that she might be
able to make money from selling her books, he began saying frequently
that he had made the first million dollars, so she could make the
second so he could retire. When she asked him about how she had
worked, cleaning, paying the bills, etc. while he had worked, he
answered that he would manage the staff.
Craig’s
lack of social skills have been an ongoing problem. He seems to have
no empathy. I don’t recall him ever saying “Thank you,” or
“Please.” Except to tell Justin to use the terms. I remember
one dinner at the house on Burnet when his face, beard and torso
were, as usually, covered with the debris of his food. He then told
Ayn she was holding her fork incorrectly. She, disgusted, rose and
left the table. Craig then remonstrated with Melinda for bringing up
such rude children. On the Fourth of July of 1996, Melinda had
agreed to put on a party for him. I could tell she didn’t want to,
after all the trouble she had gone to put on a Halloween party she
couldn’t enjoy because of his bad manners, but she did it anyway.
I heard her ask him to do some running around for her in the morning.
She sent him to get some fresh corn on the cob. He didn’t come
back until a half hour before the party was due to start. Mom had
been getting more and more frantic, hurrying to get everything done
while worried that he and Morgan had been killed. When he finally
got home, she asked him to go get some ice. He said that could wait,
that he a present for her. She seemed quite upset and told him she
didn’t want a present, she wanted him to go get the ice. He got
belligerent and insisted she open the present. When she wouldn’t,
being busy with the arrangements, he unwrapped it and shoved it at
her. When she wasn’t grateful, he went into the kitchen, got a
glass of water and threw it on her. I went outside to put the corn
on the grill. He followed me outside, justifying what he had done.
He said he had spent a lot of time and money on that present and she
was just being awful. We haven’t thrown a party since, even though
we enjoy entertaining and had some great ideas for get-togethers with
friends. Mom always brought up that we couldn’t count on Craig
behaving and we couldn’t always count on him being out of town.
Craig
was out of town a lot over the past few years. Mom always seemed
calmer and happier when he was gone. She spoke to me several times
about the possibility of her divorcing him. I encouraged her to do
so, since it was evident to me they did not have a companionate
relationship and Craig did not value her as a person, only as his
utility. She stopped talking about divorce last year, after she had
dealt with the tax situation. In her talks with me, she seemed more
positive about the future of their relationship. I did not see much
of Craig through December, after I got back from school. During the
trip to Hawaii, he stayed at the house most of the time while the
rest of us went out snorkeling etc. He did express an interest in
going up to see the yurt, the tent where Kathy, Ayn and I were
staying. When he couldn’t go up to see it when he wanted, because
we needed to be somewhere else, he was very annoyed. He also went
with us to Volcano National Park. Mom and I wanted to spend more
time there, but as soon as he had seen what he considered enough, he
insisted that we go back to the house.
When
we got back from Hawaii, I saw Craig a bit more than in December.
The family went out to dinner together. Usually when we had dinner
at home, we only saw Craig long enough for him to come to the table
(after the rest of us were already seated and waiting), clad in his
robe, to scarf down his portion before retiring to the kitchen to fix
himself a snack and go back upstairs. It used to be that he would
spend more time at the dinner table, but that interval has shortened
over the years. He’s never really been a part of the family. We
often joked that we were Craig’s rental family, and that we
wouldn’t let him in the door without the check. He often
participated in this joking. But we stopped making these jokes last
year, when it seemed he could be more fully incorporated into the
family.
January
didn’t seem different. I had no idea that he was planning to
divorce Melinda. We all went to see “Hard Rain” for Ed’s
birthday (January 18) and to eat at Mimosa. As we were getting back
into the car in the Green Hills parking lot, Craig again remarked on
how, of all the children, I was the most like him. During the week
prior to his moving out, he was not at home much, but not that much
less than usual. I saw him briefly when he came home on Wednesday,
January 22. He was going through the refrigerator. On Thursday,
January 23, Mom and I went to the grocery store to buy food to fix
and stick in the refrigerator for Craig, as he preferred eating
leftovers to fresh food. We fixed a meat loaf and a tuna-noodle
casserole, those being his favorite foods. After he told Melinda he
was divorcing her, we debated giving them to Craig, and they sat in
the fridge for about two weeks before we threw them out. The Hickory
Farms cheese balls I gave him for Christmas are still in the
refrigerator.
Things
have been difficult since late that night on January 23, when Craig
told Mom he was divorcing her. We’ve been caught between spending
too much money and not letting Craig’s evil behavior affect us too
much. Mom’s emotions have been whipsawing her between depression
and rage. Justin has been very depressed and angry. But his
behavior has improved very much. I’ve been much happier since
Craig is no longer in the house. The housework has decreased
considerably and we no longer live under the shadow of abuse. I’m
glad we’re rid of him.
signed,
Dawn
Pillsbury
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